A Few Radical Thoughts on "Narcissism"
Before anything else, I wanna be perfectly clear that:
-I don’t support the demonization of narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or narcissistic traits.
-I don’t condone any abusive behavior.
-It is ableist, reductive, dangerous, and ignorant to lump narcissism & abuse into one category. Narcissistic does not equal abusive. "Narcissistic abuse" is not a real thing. Abuse is abuse. People with narcissistic traits or NPD are people. Abusive behavior is abusive. Any type of person can be abusive. People without (diagnosed or undiagnosed) disorders can be abusive.
-The term "Narcissism" comes from european psychologists, who learned and taught everything from the euro-centric worldview...which has always been one-sided, materialistic, and lacking in many other ways. I do not support european psychology, and I don't like using it to explain or solve African problems.
-I consider myself to have narcissistic traits, some of which I neutrally accept, and some of which I work hard on, in order to pro-social.
-I think most people have narcissistic traits as well.
Okay, onto the rest:
Overview, TLDR: I don't think NPD or "pathological narcissism" is actually the untreatable, lost-cause most people think it is...At all. And I think capitalists and imperialists benefit from us believing it's untreatable. I’m convinced the powers that be are under-investing in the proper care/research of pathological narcississm, because doing so would very quickly make it clearer to the public that they are constantly being exploited by people whose "narcissism" (domination) is out of control. I also speculate that true, caring community and indigenous natural/spiritual practices hold answers to treating, accomodating, & soothing sensitive egos, which is info that western doctors can’t access because they rarely even acknowledge indigenous technology as valid.
Sometimes in life, sometimes culturally, people fear the unknown. The brain is kinda wired for that fear-so it makes sense, especially when surviving is basically learning & practicing consistent ways to stay alive.
I think when a culture finds a problem that it can't quickly or easily solve without lots of resources & creativity we collectively put it in the "unsolveable", "chronic", or "hopeless" bin and move on.
The problem I'm gonna talk about today is "narcissism".
Here are some ways this term is used today:
-Narcissism (noun): A Personality trait that can include thinking very highly of oneself, needing admiration, believing the self is superior to others, and struggling with empathy for others. -Narcissist (noun): used casually as a catch-all term that describes a group of people who range from emotionally ignorant to abusive. -Narcissist (noun): incorrectly used as a catch-all term that describes an abuser. -Narcissistic abuse (noun): A modern term that some abuse survivors use to describe the abuse they've survived. Incorrectly links "narcissism", "narcissistic traits", and "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" with abuse. Blames the abuse on "narcissism" and not the abuser. Inherently polarizes all people into "narcissists" and “non-narcissists”, when in reality, most people have narcissistic traits.] -Narcissistic Personality Disorder (noun): “ Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex psychological condition that presents with a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. NPD can cause significant social and occupational impairment and often has complications of comorbid psychiatric and substance use disorders.” Quoted from Paroma Mitra, Tyler J. Torrico, & Dimy Fluyau.
As you can see, there’s a cultural divide between the casual use of the word “narcissist” and the clinical definition. The most important thing to note is that when used colloquially or in pop-psychology online, “narcissist” is synonymous with “abuser”. Clinically, the two are never linked, and perpetrating abuse is not a criteria for being diagnosed with pathological narcissism.
notes to flesh out:
-Is “NPD”/“pathological narcissism” ACTUALLY “untreatable”? “Treatment resistant”? Or would the genuine research and treatment of harmful “narcissism” lead to the decline of capitalism?
-Narcissism, ego, survival, the spirit of domination. Theres a time, place, and target for everything. Denying the ego, survival, and even domination in some cases, is just denying the “shadow”(heavily quoted) or the truth, which we actually need in order to survive. And we DEFINITELY need the “domination mindset” if we’re going to destroy/escape our oppressors, cuz they certainly don’t give a damn or a second thought about dominating us!
-How did indigenous communities handle dominator culture? Did they use plant medicine, spiritual ritual, and so on?
-Would the acknowledgement & treatment of pathological narcissism lead to…communalism…equity…care…? (sarcastic, rhetoric)
-Overlapping/comorbid traits from other conditions that are NOT demonized. Autism, ADHD, BPD, and so on. Also often similar causes in upbringing for disorders.
-Researching and treating those with NPD with care and attention would benefit EVERYONE-because everyone has narcissistic traits, and everyone who doesnt have many traits COULD, one day, have more or manifest them more intensely. Just like any disability, having the proper infrastructure will help everyone in the long run.
-Capitalists & imperialists benefit from us thinking people can’t change, because if people COULD change, that would mean we can change our tragic neo-colonial circumstance, and they don’t want that.
-What do we gain (collectively) by demonizing “narcissists”? Is it as simple as getting ourselves to stop saying “narc abuse”, or will people still consider themselves better than others & incapable of harm even if they only said “abuse?